I listen again and again to a song that says, “You were stupid yourself.” I know that is the case. I ran into his arms myself. I threw myself down in front of him, and I was sure I couldn’t live without him for a second. I can curse someone else as much as I want. But the truth is still one. I was stupid myself.
How wonderful it feels when you can trust someone. If there’s your human next to you. Confidence. This is what I am looking for and hope to find. Is it love? I don’t know, but I don’t know what it is if it is not loving.
How far are we willing to go for love? How low are we ready to go for love? To feel loved. For a sense of security. Like nothing is needed when you are only together. And if there’s something wrong, it’s ok. This can be improved. People change. Love wins everything. I know!
But love is always a small death, divided into two. Like a cold bullet that breaks you in half. It takes your breath away. I was stupid myself to let it happen, to believe and close my eyes. I can only blame myself. But do I regret it? No. Not a second. Every moment spent together was worth it. Without these moments in life, life would not be worth living, no matter how painful it may be. Moments spent together will last forever. These moments are eternal, and no one can take them from us. Even if you don’t appreciate those moments, I’ll keep them alive for the two of us. I can do it.
I will never hate you. Not even if you don’t care, don’t remember, don’t want to. So be it. I’ll let you go. I’ll let you out of my life. Let me be alone with my pain. I was stupid myself, so be it.
Let me have my truth. My love. My love for you. My pain of you betraying me and losing you. But I know my feelings were real, and I loved you from the bottom of my heart. I have nothing to regret. I gave my all for what I believed in, and there’s nothing wrong with that.