As I walked today, my thoughts stuck to the fact that it takes time to let go. There is the right time for everything. You may know what’s right and still not be able to accomplish it because you’re trying to jump over the steps you need to take before you can move on and let go. Getting to the release is perhaps a conscious work with oneself, but the release takes place by itself. And one more thing – you can let go of the same thing multiple times. Let me try to explain exactly what I mean by that.
Letting go has been an important part of my life because there have been a lot of experiences and people to let go. I thought I had become an expert in this field through long practice. Ever since I was a child, I had a lot to let go of, situations that were not under my control at all but had to be accepted. As it showed, no matter how much I wanted to, there was no father next to me, and most of the time there was no mother. As a child, I didn’t understand why, or if it was right or wrong, I just knew I was different. In forty years, there are many examples of situations I have been forced to let go of! So I developed my own strategy on how to deal with it. Specifically, I learned to move on with life, and not looking back. I became very effective in doing this. It didn’t mean any effort for me to end the relationships and focus on the next goal in my life. This usually meant moving from Plan A to Plan B, from Plan B to Plan C, and so on until I completely changed direction. Changing direction and plans also meant changing the people around me. I was really good at letting go.
Nothing was trouble-free, of course, as you might have already guessed. All my letting-go’s always caught up with me no matter where I tried to escape from them! Because letting go doesn’t come from changing externally, it comes from within you, and I had no idea how to do it. Maybe I still don’t know how to let go. But the more I think about it, the more it seems to me that letting go is not about focusing on letting go of something or someone, but using energy to be happy with what you have, to be happy with yourself in the present time, and not how you have been or how you think you should be. Be satisfied here and now. This is what is part of conscious work, working on yourself. The letting go comes by itself when the past no longer carries any lessons and everything is clear.
I don’t know if I’ll ever learn the art of letting go because sometimes I still sit under the weight of the past and I know I still have a lot to think about. But the only way out of this is through thinking about what my path is and how to walk this road. I sincerely believe that everything and everyone in this world has a purpose and a meaning and that nothing happens without a reason. And so it is already the case that I am too curious to live on without finding answers.